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A balanced diet is one cookie in each hand. |
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A day without laughter is a day wasted |
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Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it |
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An attitude is a terrible thing to waste |
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Around here normal is just the setting on the dryer. |
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Blonde jokes are short so men can remember them |
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Boldly going nowhere |
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Don't quote me on that |
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Don't worry about tomorrow; today will finish you off |
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Don't worry, Mom would approve |
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Everyone is gifted, some just open the package sooner |
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Good morning - Let the stress begin |
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How can I get better at my video games when I have to spend seven hours a day at school? |
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I ate my willpower |
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I don't necessarily agree with everything I say |
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I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person |
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I smile because I have no idea what's going on. |
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I'd exercise, but I might spill my drink |
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If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging |
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If you're going to be a poop, go lie in the yard |
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Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part |
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Laugh with abandon |
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Laughing is jogging on the inside |
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Left-handers are always right |
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Life is uncertain. . . eat dessert first |
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Live well, love much and wear red lipstick |
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Most of us are somewhere between fabulous and stupid |
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Nobody notices what I do until I don't do it |
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Oh, I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again |
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Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver. You choose. |
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Some days are a waste of makeup |
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Some days you step in it. . . some days you don't |
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Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once |
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Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got |
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Sorry, yesterday was the deadline for all complaints |
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Spare me the drama |
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The hurrier I go, the behinder I get.
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There's nothing wrong with me a little ice cream won't fix |
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This too shall pass |
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To err is human, to arr is pirate. |
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To reduce stress, bang head here |
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What if the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about? |
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What would Scooby do? |
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Whether you think you can or think you can't. . . you're right |
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You are agitated and confused - my work is done |
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